Thursday, November 17, 2005


By Lean Severino
Greg Vallejera Jr. and I were invited by the officers and members of Institute of Internal Auditors to attend their annual convention at Boracay on October 21, 2005. Of course, we went there not to talk about money, budget or treasury risk since we don’t know anything about finance. But we were there to talk about the things that will make them forget their worries. We talked about humor at work.As expected, there were so many sexy guests there. In fact, I could hardly whistle; my tongue was always sticking out. Not only that, the swimming pool of Boracay Regency was very nice and clean; people would immediately notice if ever you urinate there. More, so if you do it on the diving board. Also, the waiters were tall dark and pedicured. The service was good. They change the linen everyday. Room 101 with 102, 102 with 103 etcetera. I really enjoyed Boracay. In fact, the last time my wife and I were there, she could hardly close her mouth bragging about the place. After three hours her tongue got sunburned.What I could not forget that night was the sexy and pretty lady I spent my evening with. Well, I am the writer here and if ever I’m going to spend my time with somebody it must be with a sexy and pretty girl. . Anyway, I think she came from a well-to-do family. You know, the blue blooded type. I’m sure of that because I saw it in her tattoo-it’s blue. She has a unique accent, sounds like English but I could hardly understand it, until she started making sign language. So I thought maybe she’s from Europe or Middle East.Anyway, she fell on the sand while walking and I was nearby so I picked her up - literally. We introduced each other and she embraced me so she would not fall again. I’m not really a gentleman but somebody has to do the dirty job, so I embraced her back. When she recovered her balance, we started walking along the seashore holding hands. She held hers, I held mine. There was a time when I looked at her and she would smile and close her eyes. I immediately knew what she was up to. Either she wanted me to kiss her or she was trying to recall my name- whichever comes first.Then we ate together, talked for hours and I really enjoyed everything we did, except the paying of the check. I was so happy that I even gave a tip to the waiter. It was only cut short when she realized that I am not a Korean national. After that, she took back her calling card, her picture and she started talking in hard Bisaya which I fully understood. And I spent the rest of the evening drinking with Greg. Greg is not entirely sexy and pretty but certainly he will take me regardless of my nationality. Besides, Greg has a better sense of humor… a lot better.. I think. And Greg is such a nice friend that he accompanied me on my darkest hours. Besides, he likes our pulutan.In the middle of the night, I was awaken by the voice of Greg talking over the phone but I pretended to be asleep so as not to annoy him. And I heard Greg saying to, I presumed, a lady at the other end of the line. He said “Okay! if you want a real man, come to my room – I’ll get one for you.”. Of course I was hoping that the guy he was referring to was me. But I know Greg better. He is the guy who will not put his friend on the spot. So I covered my ears with pillows and continued pretending to sleep.After the convention I decided to spend a night in Kalibo to attend the KALANTIAO TOASTMASTERS CLUB meeting before going back to Iloilo. I went there alone because Greg had some very important things to attend to that day. But I was not worried because they all told me Megs is such a great host you’ll never feel awkward being there alone. And indeed, Megs is such a warm person I enjoyed every minute of my stay there.
Megs Lunn

Megs is the mentor/founder of the club. She’s a very likeable person. She’s a very good speaker herself. I saw her joining the contest and had almost defeated the famous Greg Vallejera Jr. When I visited Kalibo that night, Megs was very accommodating to me. I slept in her house, cooked food and cleaned the room. Of course she insisted that I should not do it since I am a guest but for me, that was better than washing the clothes and throwing the garbage out. We talked about a lot of things before going to bed. Needless to say, we used different beds. That was when I realized she was a computer buff. She talked about computer buzzwords which I could not even spell. Of course I didn’t want to be outsmarted so I just nodded. Well, for one, nodding is a good head exercise. Megs has a very pretty, talented kid (she drew me a picture), just like the mother. Her name is Clouds. She is also very inquisitive. She reminds me of my mother-in-law.
Dr. Botoy Villorente

We call him Doc because he is a doctor of philosophy in the field of agriculture. He was somewhat silent during the meeting but when I got to know him later, I realized that I was speaking to a man of great knowledge. He started at the bottom until he became one of the most successful persons in his field. Actually, I also started at the bottom but obviously-I stayed there. His wife was also a doctor, I think in Math or Statistics. But it is a subject which we despised when we were in college because it is difficult. Doc Botoy is the charter president of the club.
Cynthia de la Cruz

Cynthia is the Vice-President for education. She has Chinese Mestiza looks - except for the eyes. Megs told me Cynthia is very enthusiastic about the meeting, she’s a happy person and she likes to shake hands- even when she’s alone. Cynthia would start calling everybody 2-3 days before the meeting, confirming the attendance and roles. If you see her, she has a distinct smiling face. She told me she likes to read or tell jokes. Somebody told me she was practicing her jokes to her patients. She’s a Pediatrician. Cynthia has agility to pick and deliver funny lines.
Mona Magayanes

Our Jokemaster during the meeting was Mona. She did not bring her daughter at the meeting because, according to her, her jokes have shades of green. Anyway, she finally delivered her jokes and the other half dozen kids loved them. In fact they understood them better than the adults. Mona showed very good delivery. She has her own style of telling jokes - she laughed with the audience to ensure compliance. Her jokes had very good punchlines.Remy Recoter
I was assigned to evaluate the prepared speech of Remy. Remy is a distinguished military officer –which explains why I only have positive evaluation for her (just kidding). The speech was well written, the topic was well chosen. In fact it was so informative that nobody noticed the time. Given enough time to deliver more speeches and probably with more emotions in the speech, Remy could become one of the great speakers of the club.
The Rest of the Club Officers and Members
My one-day stay with the officers and members was both educational and a great personal experience. I had seen that most of the members are of high distinction in the place, which probably is the reason why the performance of the club showed a very high degree of professionalism, leadership and commitment. I believe that within a year or two, and through the guidance of the club mentor and President, this club could be the club to reckon with in the Division or even in the District standing. Good work guys..Go for it! (Lean Severino comes from Silay City, Negros Occidental. He is a member of the First Farmers’ Toastmasters Club, Bacolod City. He possesses Masters in Business Administration and Industrial Engineering degrees from University of St. LA Salle – Bacolod and Mapua Institute of Technology, Manila respectively.Lean is a contributor of jokes to several newsletters published in Negros Occidental. He is a two – time national Humorous Speech Champion of Toastmasters International in 1990 and 2005. Editor) /MP


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